Tuesday, September 30, 2003
6:23 AM
pearlly wrote me that prayer down there. im really really touched. thanks dear girl. thanks for being there for me. =) i will pray. i was fading away from God. and now i feel so guity for only coming back to him during the hard times. i know he'll still be there watching over me and hearing my prayers but its difficult to focus. i cannot stop thinking abt him*. the memories are flooding my mind. i had hurt him* so much. now when i look at all those times. i really miss them. everytime with him* had such a special meaning and feeling. i could see all the happy and fun times. dunno how come i can rmb so much. anyway, i really really need to concentrate on studying. xams start on friday. i must do better. jia you bevv!~
I kneel and pray to God above,
that He would cover you in His Love.
that He would help you in your choices,
and keep a clear mind in spite of the voices.
I pray you understand He knows how you feel
I pray that you believe that hope is real.
I pray for joy to help you smile
The very thing that makes my day worthwhile
I pray for peace to calm you down
I pray for someone who can wipe off your frown
I pray for comfort in the things you dread
I pray for the love that you always spread
I pray you believe that I'm speaking the truth
I pray you trust for I don't know how to prove
I pray you know there's no need to fear
I pray you know that I'll always be here.
to all those peepz who have been there for me when i was down. for talking to me, cheering me up and showing all that caress. i really wanna say a big thank you. w/o you all, it would be the end of the world for me. lol. its true.
geck, yiling, pearlly, and the rest of the sec 3 netballers
kristin
mei en
mel
cia
sung ann
samuel
michelle
gloria
jiamin
esther L.
fedora
wenxiu
karen Z.
huiqi
pui quan
love ya all ta bits. for others who have been there for me too and if ure name isnt there, im sorry. thanks for everything. i love u all plenty plenty too. god bless.
YOU.
i will be happy and cheerful in school like u wanted.
my one wish now is for u to do well and pass.
study hard my darling.
i will be there for you if u need me.
just call if u have anything to ask.
i love u. i still do very much.
although i wont be saying those things now
i will always love u
and u will forever be in my heart.
ill be waiting whether u like it or not.
and i WILL see you again.
oh damn, its so hard to keep it to myself that i love you
and i hide all my feelings from u. i miss you so much.
anyway, just take care.
i love you.
bev
0 comments
Monday, September 29, 2003
1:05 AM
totally messed up chi oral. ive got such limited vocab in chinese and everything was broken. x/ augh. and i was the 1st person to take it. what luck!=/ feeling really down now. everything's not going the right way. i need to do somethingss. just that i don't know where ta start and when. i suppose i'll start with God. i really hope he'll help me. please i cant take it.
bev
0 comments
Sunday, September 28, 2003
4:47 AM
When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
i wanna make it thru the rain with U*
i luf U*
bev
bEV
0 comments
Thursday, September 25, 2003
5:25 AM
Everyday she calls
eagerness and anticipation
fills this porcelain doll
longing to hear the passion
her heart thumps madly
yet its not the same
these days melancholy
she's filled with shame
unable to make you happy
the guilt tortures her
why are you so snappy
it shatters her
and into a million pieces
fragile breaks to cry
mind flies off to guesses
and she wants to die
maybe its just this time
where stress and depression rule
but love and care we should find
withdraw from being fools
morning afternoon night
you take over her mind
she hopes you'll see daylight
and do that bit for your line
eternal bliss with you she desires
OUR destiny in OUR hands
now would you just smile
cheer up and go that extra mile
for ME for US
-bev-
written to you
pls understand
i do love you so.
0 comments
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
6:04 AM
Which Pirates of the Caribbean character are you?
oooh. handsome and damn cute! =p i like..
0 comments
Saturday, September 20, 2003
12:19 AM
"And I don't regret the rain
Or the nights I felt the pain
Or the tears I had to cry
Some of those times along the way.
Every road I had to take,
Every time my heart would break,
It was just something that I had to get through,
To get me to you. "
0 comments
Thursday, September 18, 2003
5:38 AM
okay. back here once again. had english oral ytd. got mdm dhillion. not too bad. =) i was praying so hard to not let that woman take me. and she didn't. Yayyay! you all know who that ass is. no further elaboration. lol. my pic was changed at the last min cux i saw the first one. btw, it was right in front of me. i did not cheat. hah. wished they didn't change it actually, but nvm! conversation was a totally lie. I love chemistry. wish to be involved in science and become a chemist!??! and my chem cher is so darn interesting that i just can't fall asleep in her lesson. Oop. anyway, thats all fake. hm, wonder if my made up speech was convincing. lol. =p hope i'll do well though.
im in a good good mood today. had 3 tests today. but i still feel happy. wonder if i'll pass. started studying for them quite early. grr, can't stand the thought of failing when I DID STUDY. lol. Big big thunderstorm in the early afternoon. lotsa convectional rain. haha. classroom suddenly felt real comfy. maybe cux we offed all the lights. almost fell asleep. hehe.
had netball training later on too. ground was wet. -sulks- i hate netball trainings on rainy daes. well, it was our last training, something to look forward too, get done and over with it. yes, and now its over. yeah, thats the good side, but there's the bad side too. EXAMS are here. boo. gonna start mugging tonite. emaths. boohoo. hai, next week is filled, completely filled with practicals and tests, like wheres the time??!
X) go Bev, you can finish studying. yes Bev,u cann do it. lol. =) okie dokes, gotta begin or i never will. best to all peeps out there with yr books. God bless.
Bev
0 comments
Sunday, September 14, 2003
2:01 AM
had church as usual this morn. pretty empty. felt like crying. everything seemed to be at the edge, capable of ending abruptly. i never thought it wld happen. now, it scares me alot. i thought, everything. somehow, its all changed. it was all different. i'll never expect. i can't no longer.
went town with a whole bunch of darling's friends. farewell thing for jeeevan. amazing how guys can start a conversation abt so many things. played pool, then ate yoshi. took 36 back home.
reading a thick thick book right now. damn interesting. gonna continue now. ciao.
BEv
0 comments
Thursday, September 11, 2003
6:14 PM
I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I've
Never been this swept away
All my thoughts seem to settle on the breeze
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away
The only thing I hear
Is the beating of your heart
'Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
Suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe
In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumbling down
I'm closer than I've ever felt before
And I know
And you know
There's no need for words right now
'Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
Suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe
I can feel the magic floating in the air
Being with you gets me that way
0 comments
5:36 PM
it was one hot day ytd. had friendly matches at kallang. quite tiring cux there was very lil players. had to be in for all. it was rather good though. we won almost all the matches and im satisfied with my play. =) yea, im sunburnt and now. so red. =/ OUCH! headed to dear's hse, mum-in-law wanted to bring me shopping, but she changed her mind. ohwells, thats good actually, she's chinese educated. yup. u get what i mean. lol. =x oop. watched southpark cartoon with dear. damn lame sial. =p but nice nice. heex.
stayed to watch Holland V too. jingjing wake up liao, and she's gonna marry xiaoxin! most likely. ohdear ohdear, i do hope so. =) ahha.
[puiquan]
hallooos nuer, what u wrote in yr web abt daddy and mummy was sure damn sweet. =) thankyeww. you continue to take care. im always there to lend a ear. daddy too. okayss, SMILE for us. lol, yeah, Happy Family!! =D - beeeg smile for you- haha, yesyes, waffles are the yummy yummy yummiest. *DROOLS on puiquan* wahaha. dripdripdrip. lol. ask daddy make for you itsy bitsy waffle bitts. lol. to eat. he makes really goodgood oness. daddy mustmustmust make cux mummy has been craving for his waffles, to eat, ever since she took the 1st bite. ha. see, nuer, its love at 1st bite. i tell daddy make for u. hohoho. anyways, love you WAFFLES, nuer. stay cute and sweet. =)
bev
0 comments
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
4:06 AM
im so so so bored.
shouldn't have come back so early.
all that i have to do now is STUDY.
i know i have to get on with it,
but augh. i just hate studying.
Exams coming.
im deadmeat.
met darling, nick, matt, wh, n dawnn in town.
walked, dawn shopped alot.
haa. i feel like buying a dress.
gonna call dear now,
then off to watch holland v.
hope mum allows me to go shopping with mei and jeeyee.
tonight.
ciao!
beV
0 comments
Sunday, September 07, 2003
3:27 AM
hi bloggy.
im at darling's hse now.
using his new keyboard and monitor.
haha. very nice lah.
anywayss, had some netball carnival juz now.
rather boring.
was soooo hot too.
just ate ban mian. *delicious*
thanks darling.
oh yarh, found out something abt my dear lil cousin.
lol. =D
ours is on the same day.
muz go celebrate together.
hugs. good luck!
okiee dokes.
blog another time.
byeee.
bEV
0 comments
Friday, September 05, 2003
6:50 AM
i am now watching this japansese mtv again. darling sent it to me. its about this photographer taking pictures of a model. this girl who is extremely pretty didn't notice and just walked pass the camera, thus her picture was taken as she whirlled arnd when she realised. she was apollogetic to the photographer. the photographer didn't seem to mind as he was entralled by her beauty. (maybe it wasn't just the beauty, haha.) He told her that it was okay (apparently they both felt something for each other) and they didn't meet again until....
one day, the girl was working in a hairdressing salon, and the photographer came in wanting to wash his hair. the photographer didn't see the girl. the girl's friend was abt to wash the photographer's hair but she pushed her friend away and wanted to wash it for him. (so sweet) she was so caught up in her daydream while washing the fella's hair that she accidently got shampoo in his eyes. she got scolding of cux. but it was also when the photographer realised that she was the same girl that day.
the photographer accidently left his cap at the hairdresser. she found out the address of his photo studio and brought it to him. he asked her to model for him and she did. they fell in love and spent lots of time together. its very romantic. you shld see it.
another day when the photographer was cleaning his camera with some liquid, he forgot to close it and just put it on the shelf. then on another day, when he was with the girl, the camera suddenly needed cleaning, the girl went to get the cleaning liquid. unfortunetly, she was too short and tipped the liquid over. it wasn't capped and it spilt on her eyes. she became blind.
the photographer was very sad and guity. he decided to give everything up and donate his eyes to the girl. the last moments were very sad.(cryable) he gave his eyes and ran away cux he did not wan the girl to suffer with him. when the girl could see again, she felt very sad as the photographer had gone and given her his eyes. she cried her heart out.
some time later, she saw the photographer sitting on a bench, next to a dog. she went over to him, he couldnt see her. he had this picture of her, next to him. it was the 1st pic he took when they first met. the wind blew it on the floor. she picked it up. crying. and returned it to the photographer. he said thanks. and they parted again.
its a very sad and touching mtv. romantic too, not in the giving up the eyes part. yeeah. darling says he wld give his eyes to me if such a case. but i say no, okay? i just want u to take care of me and be with me forever. keep yr eyes. i love you.
bEv
0 comments
4:08 AM
yesterday was 5th anni. met darling and reeeduan at Bugis. watched pirates of the carribean. cool show. nice nice. well, overslept this morn and missed the sunday talk. cyberweek's over. went back to school to hand the hw. had colours awards ceromony. boring. yes, and in the end, the term3 disaster. got back CA. ooh, i really suck at science. all sciences. got only 30+ for chem n phyisics. WTH. surprisingly, im not one bit sad. okay, just a little disappointed. i wanted to get 40+ you see. anyway, who cares if i don't pass. err, my mum. and a lil bit of me. lol. yes. =X english wasn't too bad. lit was rather beautiful compared to last time. i love lit. Ss was okay. Geog was wonderful. lol. just so wonderful, i didn't fail chinesehahss. and improved the 2maths. anyway, i really cant do science at all. im just confirm going to the arts stream in JC. ACJC. i hope. if i can make it into a JC. errrs. alright. -clearsmindofalltherubbishyshitthathashappened- off to concentrate on work. haha. byex.
[darling, pls take care. i love you. muackx!~]
0 comments
Thursday, September 04, 2003
8:04 AM
Earth
The Force of Nature Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla
0 comments
Monday, September 01, 2003
10:11 AM
i'm im such deep shit.
everything is so messy.
just because of her.
she doesn't understand.
and i can't tell her.
she'll beat the hell outta me.
but i guess she suspects already.
its pretty obvious.
well, i guess i just have to continue denying.
haiz.
my arm hurts.
have to skip netball tml.
i don't mind too.
no longer have the passion.
i'm useless at the game.
and according to her,
im useless in everything.
im locked up.
my house, the prison.
my mum, the guard.
my sis, the guard dog.
im cornered.
left right and centre.
with ignorant people.
they do not understand,
yet they act w/o considering what i feel.
they hit me, grab me, scold me.
im banned from the phone
and only can communicate by string.
more like raffia, shoelaces and belts
joined together with safety pins.
8 floors down.
all the way down.
so so far away from you.
im trapped.
its always their way.
they are always right.
they don't understand my plight.
its difficult.
i will never give up though.
my passion to be with you will last forever.
i can feel it.
i know it.
the passion, my love.
it will never fade.
you are right here waiting for me.
and i know you wont leave for indo.
i pray you won't.
i wanna be with you.
as you sit outside my front door.
i hope you will wait.
im getting ready.
to fetch you in and hug you.
to be by by side.
now and forever.
may God bless us.
i love you.
bev
0 comments
